Pastor Sherry’s message for August 11, 2024

Scriptures: 2 Sam 18:1-33; Ps 130; Eph 4:25-5:2; Jn 6:35, 41-59

In the first church I served, we were to have composed our sermons by Tuesday so we could alert the Music Director, who would then choose music that complimented and reinforced the message.  This about killed me. I am often struggling to finish my sermon by Friday night or Saturday afternoon.  So I have relied here, at Wellborn Methodist Church, on the Holy Spirit to guide the selections our musicians make.  This morning, Joy’s anthem, “Undo,” by a band called “Rush of Fools,” was perfect.  Isn’t that just what we look to Jesus to do for us?  We need Him to pull us up out of the pit.  As the song says, “Turn me around, pick me up, undo what I’ve become.  You’re the only One who can undo what I’ve become.”

Paul, in our New Testament reading today (Ephesians 4:25-5:2), continues to remind us that as Christ-followers, we are to put away our old fleshly life, and adopt a new way of living that imitates the life of Jesus. To that end, we are to (1) be truth-tellers, not liars; (2) control our tempers rather than let anger drive our behavior; (3) say things that are good and helpful rather than foul or abusive (limit criticisms and eliminate cursing!);

And (4) be kind to others rather than spew out bitterness, rage, anger, slander, or any evil behavior (like holding grudges).  As imitators of Christ, therefore, we are to live lives characterized by love, and that demonstrate self-sacrifice, just as Jesus did. This is a tall order, isn’t it?  It’s a high standard to try to attain.  But this should be the life standard toward which we each aim.  If not, we find we fall into a pit of our own making, and we need the divine rescuer, Jesus—Who we just might call “The Great Undo-er.”

As you know, we are in an election year and it would be very easy to locate examples of each of the fleshly behaviors Paul warns us to avoid in the behaviors of various candidates.  But rather than do that, let’s look to King David’s family, and the legacy of violence and rebellion exhibited by his relatives in 2 Samuel 18:1-33.  Our passage opens with King David telling his army commanders to take it easy with the young man Absalom.  Why? What’s the deal with Absolom? To find out we have to rewind and review some earlier chapters:

Remember that some years prior, Amnon, the eldest of David’s sons, raped his half-sister, the beautiful Tamar.  David was angry about this, but did not avenge Tamar.  Perhaps he was still feeling guilty about his own sexual immorality with Bathsheba.  Perhaps he thought, “Who am I to punish him for actions I also took?  Maybe he realized this was part of the playing out of the consequences of his past sin.  The prophet Nathan had told him—even though God had forgiven him— Now, therefore, the sword [violence, rebellion] will never depart from your house [dynasty; extended family] (12:10).  Maybe David feared taking any punishing action would bring about more bloodshed. So, even though he could have insisted Amnon marry Tamar, thereby legitimizing her status as a wife, David did nothing.

This apparent inability of King David, to discipline his wayward son Amnon and to help restore his daughter Tamar, incensed Absalom, Tamar’s full brother.  Absalom slyly and covertly plotted revenge against Amnon for 2 years.  He invited Amnon, together with his father’s other sons by other wives, to a sheep-shearing festival at his country home.  Absalom got Amnon drunk, then had him killed.  Now, just as David had had Uriah killed so he could marry the pregnant Bathsheba, Absolom has had another person kill his half-brother.  David must realize Absalom’s murder of his eldest mirrors his own homicidal act. Furthermore, Absolom has demonstrated that murderous rage leads to bitterness and to evil behavior.

Absalom hits the road and is exiled from his father for 3 years.  Scripture tells us that, all that time, David longed to see Absalom—now his eldest, his heir, his favorite—and mourned his absence (13).  Curiously, though, he did not send for him.  Absalom is as good as banished.  In effect, David has now lost his 2 eldest sons—1 dead, 1 exiled. 

In a complicated strategy, Joab, David’s cousin and general, (14) manipulates David into calling his son home.  David agrees, but does not invite Absalom into his presence (Is he holding a grudge?).  Another 2 years go by and Absalom grows embarrassed and increasingly embittered.

Let’s examine David’s behavior toward Absalom:  David is uncharacteristically unforgiving!  He has nursed an offense toward his son.  The King has to be urged by his cousin to recall Absalom to Jerusalem.  Then, 2 years later, he has to be again urged by Joab to reconcile with Absolom.  So, 5 years after Absalom kills Amnon (7 yrs. after the rape of Tamar), David finally summons him.  The King greets him with a kiss, but this is too little too late.  The damage to their relationship has been compounded.  Many cultures in the Ancient Near East then, as now, were “Shame-based cultures” (Honoring the family was the supreme virtue). A son, even a prince, did not shame his father. By taking a father’s right to discipline Amnon, Absalom has shamed the King.  David had exhibited his corresponding displeasure by not inviting his son back home, thus shaming Absolom.  (Contrast this with God’s example of the father in the Prodigal Son story.)  Privately David loves Absolom and misses him, but publically his pride has taken a hit, and he harbors an offense against Absalom.  He builds up a wall in his heart, and he emotionally abandons his heir.

Now let’s look at Absalom’s behavior toward his father:  After having taken himself into exile for 3 years, then feeling ignored for another two, Absalom is embittered. Like Father, like son.  He too has registered a hit to his pride. He too has taken offense and held onto it.  He too has established walls in his heart against his father.  From all of this, it’s a simple step to betrayal.

  So (15) describes how Absolom campaigns—over the next 4 years—to win over his countrymen. He was exceedingly handsome and famous for his beautiful, luxuriant hair. Though he had slain his ½ brother at his own table (a huge violation of Ancient Near East hospitality rules), he is now nice as can be to everyone. It’s a presidential campaign! He is kissing babies, promising tax cuts, and telling people what they want to hear. He is also trying to usurp his aging father’s public popularity.

Then, before David even suspects what is happening, Absalom launches a coup, and a Civil War erupts between the followers of the father and those who are loyal to the son (Chapters 16-17).  David, the seasoned warrior, flees the city (He desires no fighting in Jerusalem). He has his experienced and loyal army with him (Green Berets, Navy Seals). One of his Mighty Men, for instance, was Benaiah. He was famous for having jumped into a pit on a snowy day, where he killed a lion with only his spear (1 Chronicles 11:22).  David’s military was brave, bold, and highly skilled. They beg David, due to his age, not to go into battle with them. They realized that if the king were captured or killed, Absolom would win the war. So David agrees, sees them off, but asks them to spare his son’s life (18).

Now remember Absalom is not a warrior (he is instead a shrewd politico). Lacking an army, he has to call in Israelite citizens to bear arms for him. These are like the “national guard.”  They have some training, but limited experience. The armies encounter each other in a large forest.  Absalom’s forces pick this place, but it is not a wise battle-site, as trees, hills, and cliffs appear to have impeded troop movements. David’s veterans overcome the larger, inexperienced forces.  Absalom may have been trying to retreat or desert, when his rich, lush hair entraps him. Even though Joab, David’s cousin, had been told to capture but not kill the rebel prince, he insubordinately kills him anyway and buries his body in a pit (adding insult to injury). By the way, isn’t this the same cousin who brought Absolom back to Jerusalem, only to murder him 4 years later? Perhaps Joab reasoned that Absalom was a trouble-maker who would never fall into line; that he would always present a threat to David’s reign.  Whatever his motivation, he ruthlessly brings a sad chapter in King David’s life to an end. Joab, a second cousin, kills a second cousin. And a bereft King David loses his favorite son and heir.

What might God be saying to us today through Paul, Absolom, and King David?

      (1) What do we do when relatives take offense? We cannot hang on to offenses. They expand over time. They harden into bitterness.  They shrivel our hearts and set our spirits up against God. We must recognize and take responsibility for our own sins of pride.  We must forgive the offense and pray for the person who offended us. We must make an attempt to make amends. From the perspective of time and distance, we can see where either Absalom or David could have attempted to mend the breach.

       (2) Isn’t it true that we reap what we sow?  David kiiled a man so that he could have that man’s wife. In the very next generation, one son is sexually immoral, ravaging a woman who was not his wife. The second son kills the first.  God forgave David and forgives us of our sins, if—like David—we just humble ourselves and ask it of Him. Nevertheless, He often lets us experience the fruit or consequences of our mistakes, either in our own lives, or in our children’s or grandchildren’s generations. I have seen this so often in my counseling practice.  Similar sin patterns run down the generations in a given family. One family may be characterized by multiple suicides, another—like the Kennedys—for violent deaths; another for pornography, adultery, and serial affairs.  Intergenerational sin patterns that are not recognized and repented of can be and are passed down.

        (3) We want to forgive, before it’s too late. I picture King David wailing, keening his grief, sobbing with regret, wishing he had handled Amnon, Tamar, and Absalom differently.  The child born of David’s adultery died, but three of his other children’s lives were also ruined.  I believe he must have been so sorry that he had not been as competent a father as he had been a king or a warrior.

(4) Who could have pulled King David out of the pit of despair?  It is the same God who pulls us up out of the pit. Psalm 130:1-2—Out of the depths [the pit] I cry to you, O Lord; O Lord, hear my voice.  Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.  We turn to the Lord for help. As Jesus advises in our Gospel lesson (Jn 6:35, 41-59), we stay intimately connected to our Lord, through communion conversation, and worship.

When we find ourselves in the pit, let’s remember to call upon the Lord.  As the song says, “He is the only one to undo what we have become.” Let’s ask Him for wisdom and discernment; for strength to endure (resilience); and for assistance in living a life like that of Jesus.  Amen!

©️2024 Rev. Dr. Sherry Adams